It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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