His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
