Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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