I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
