Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
