Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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