u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Who did Billy Mays play for?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
