It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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