I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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