So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
