ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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