Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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