smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
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I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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