Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
