I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
