his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
