she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
