So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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