dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
