stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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