I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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