No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
