Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
