Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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