You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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