Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
