This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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