I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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