she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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