3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
