i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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