do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
