I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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