he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
