His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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