I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize