I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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