On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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