Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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