I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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