the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
