i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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