I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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