I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
