Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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