Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i barfeds in our rink
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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