Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
