It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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