my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
