Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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