She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
