Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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