he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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