Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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