Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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