Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
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Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
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we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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