Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
