not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
